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Yes I am gross, thank you. Potty humor should be taken off the list of inappropriate talk. It should be used only in appropriate situations, like in cyberspace. Think I’m gonna waste my time grossing out the few people around me? Now everyone can be grossed out globally. I’m seen in over 148 nations around the globe. Don’t ask me how many nations have internet access, but 148 sure sounds like a heck of a lot. To answer one of my faithful viewers’ question, I do have emo pants, yes. Dark black denim. They looked hot when I was riding my motorcycle. Now the buttonfly buttons would pop off like a 9mm. Paaaaaaayyyyooowww (ricocheeeeeet). My gut would hang over and look like the third trimester. I keep saying I’ll get back to working out, but burgers taste so good. Am I lazy? Yes I am. Do I want to get back in shape? Yes I do!!! Do burgers taste good? Yes they do!… Ok enough. Lately, I have gotten so bored of the news and the race to the presidency. The war isn’t mentioned. These guys are out in the middle of hell and the news is all about all of us being racists. All of us according to both parties are now racists. We are the typical white racists and they are the typical black racists, say them (not I). We are also ignoring the fact that Iraq is taking a huge turn in our favor. The radicals who have destroyed the country are starting to leave and or disappear, which is good news not being reported because the media wants to start a race war. Look at what happened when the media broadcast the Rodney King beating over and over like it was Kennedys assassination. It inflamed black communities all over the country to the point where it caused riots when the verdict was read. L.A.? On fire. Looting nationwide. Outlaws roaming the streets with no mercy. Isn’t that a felony? Inciting a riot? Here we go into this election and race is now more important than war. Both sides calling the other racists. I love a good Democrat tussle amongst each other. They are so clever using the same tricks they pull on us on each other. The venom comes out! It shows you the true beauty of communism which is loyalty. I know I’m beginning to sound a little coocoo about the whole communist thing, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me if you check the websites I have read. They all are legitimate media sources. Wake up people, we are close to the end!! Prophecy is being fulfilled at a rapid rate. The bibles account of a one world government are not too far away. One terrorist attack calculated enough, will cripple us. This cripples our economy. The world’s economy is hit hard and we are forced to join a north american union with a european union to merge with their economies. This will be the only thing that will save us. It’s either that or we go belly up and we are owned by the ones who have propped up our financial institutions. Saudi Arabia, China and the list goes on of all of our good samaritans who swooped in to save us! The rumor of a north american currency called an amero is not rumor at all. it is here and already printed. Thats what the website said! One large enough terrorist attack around the country would also cause martial law. I95 gridlock and you’re sitting next to a tank. Awww man I can’t get to blockbuster unless i go around the sandbag barricade, get quizzed by the sarge about where I am going and can I see your national ID card. You have 5 minutes in there! Man I only need 3! I’m gonna rent rambo and find out how to take care of you chumps (I said in my head) Better watch out! I love my freedom and I will fight for it! I can hit a moving target at 500 yards if the target moving is the Goodyear Blimp. Am I a patriot! Yes I am! Do I want to preserve my country and my history? Yes I do! Well, actually, I won’t be doing any fighting. I know it’s coming. I’ll just bide my time and wait for the rapture. God says biding your time can cause an unpleasant introduction to Him. I believe he said we would be vomit flying out of his mouth. There I had to gross you out again! I see it shaping together and feeling like we have to be so ready that we don’t faint when the troubles fly. We all need to be gathering and leaning on each other for strength and support. Repenting and drawing close and being fully armed when weapons might only be on there side will be our only hope. I think about these things and wonder what things will be like when it happens. When things get so uncertain that people are perishing at the mere thought of losing all they have. When we are hauled into courts for homeschooling and into courts for witnessing and arrested for gathering for worship, things are getting reaaaal close. Oh yeah, these are actual events going on. You see the urgency as do i. When do we all go,”sweet fancy moses we gotta be real christians?” No more tivo? Aww man ya mean we could get murdered for believing in JESUS? I thought God was just playing. I thought it was a metaphor for times being reeeaaal tough. Will they be able to reattach my head if i get decapitated? Shouldn’t we be there yet? I’m sure we will then. Can you attach it to one with a buffer body? Thanks dudes. In conclusion, get right fools.
I know what your thinking. Uh you missed the l in public. Did I? I hate using public restrooms for even washing my hands, much less having to do a #2. When I first enter a restroom I immediately notice the odor. What is that smell? My gosh do they allow farm animals in here? Business owners try their hardest to mask the odors with heavy duty air fresheners, but that just makes it smell like someone crapped in a flower shop. No matter what, you can be sure my weak gag reflex is going to be close to the barf line as soon as I walk in. Urinal cakes are one of my least favorite things too, as many of my shoes have been drenched from the dreaded splashback. I don’t like to label something cake unless I can eat it. Who was the genius who thought of advertising in the urinal? I love the idea, except for one thing. Most guys are so terrified of looking around when they’re using the urinal for fear that someone will proposition them. They have that blank stare at the wall just to be on the safe side. We use our peripheral vision to make assessments of who is next to us and if we are being looked at. Next they’ll be putting some advertising in the crapper with catchy slogans like “slide on down to Earls and get a good deal!” Men have this weird instinct when they are doing a #2 in a public restroom if they are the only one in the there. Upon someone entering the restroom, men feel this instinctual urge to muster a fake cough to signal the person entering that they are not alone and a stall is occupied. Not even a lock on the stall can give a man a sense of security in this vulnerable position. There could be some maniac on the loose who goes around ripping stall doors off and sitting on the laps of unsuspecting patrons. I actually do have a traumatic childhood experience of using the restroom in elementary school and some kid ripping my door open and pointing at me and laughing as I was pooping! I was never the same. I can still see his face and that finger pointing at me! AAAAHHHHH! With all the news of men prowling public restrooms looking for sex, it’s no wonder we are leary when we enter a bathroom. Things race through our mind like “is that guy checking me out?” or, “was that toe tap from the next stall a signal?” Its bad enough for me to use a public restroom, but guys looking for sex in there? GROSS!!!! Toilet seats are another issue in restrooms. Not all have that toilet seat paper barrier, but could there be a more worthless invention? Call me crazy, but some thin little sheet of paper is not going to provide an adequate line of defense from the previous guys sweaty butt. If I go to the doctor and he pulled out some paper gloves to give me a checkup, I’d be concerned. Why can’t the seat covers be made of latex? A toilet seat condom! The only thing more worthless than this is a lock on a screen door! If the restroom doesn’t have the seat covers, I resort to building a thick layer of toilet paper with one strip on each side and one on the back. I use enough to make it feel like I am sitting on a couch cushion. The toilet paper they provide is absolutely the worst! It is what I like to call John Wayne TP. Rough tough and don’t take crap from anyone. I wrap enough of it around my hand to make an oven mitt. This of course, is to prevent the dreaded poke through. I won’t go into details, but your pointer finger touches the worst place imagineable! Oops the cats out of the bag. I am sure by now I have thoroughly grossed you out, and now you can feel my pain. Enjoy!
It has been so long since I blogged, I almost forgot about my peeps. Moody writers! I need motivation to write, such as general stupidity, political stupidity, and my stupidity. First let me get something off my chest. Its hair!! Seriously though, I have never been more concerned about my country than now. I have come to realize that it is too far gone to save us and have reverted to the ole “if you can’t beat them join them” adage. I have already ordered my chinese, arab, and russian garb, depending on who takes us over. If it is all of the above I am sure I will have all my bases covered. Maybe they will implement rules to alternate customary garb of the occupiers. Hey folks, its sheik sunday! Make sure your turban is wound tight!! I think I would look hot in some Russian military leather boots. I can do that silly hi step march like they do in their parades, arms swinging high! Maybe these guys are just getting a bad rap from our press. I’m sure beheaders have a tender side. Long ago, the plans for a global government were hatched and the conspirers planned a global takeover in three World Wars. Well whether or not we want to believe it, we have been in WW3 for awhile now. Checkmate is right around the corner. Well what are we to do? Run? Hide? Nope, just fall in line and it won’t hurt you one bit. Wave that chinese flag proudly when they come ashore! The rest of you American patriots can sit your dumb a** in a concentration camp. I’m not sure I’ll enjoy russian food alot, but the chinese have been indoctrinating us with their fine cuisine for a long time now. They are so smart. The way to an Americans heart is their stomach! We love to eat!! Back in the day when we had foreign invaders on our soil during the American revolution, Americans took up arms and fought to the death to save our great nation. I cry from a paper cut, and can’t imagine fighting a war on our soil to save our country, especially for this current generation. Have you seen these young punks running around lately, with their loud music, clothes, and hair? I know, I’m getting old right? Our parents thought the same about our music, and the way we dressed. But seriously, have you seen these punks? I am not wasting my life for theirs, in fact I think we could use a good war to thin out our population of these misfits. I submit to you the following advantages to this. One- less traffic. Two -less crime. three -less bad music. four- less employees to staff fast food restaurants, which in turn means less fast food restaurants, which means we won’t be such a fat country. Five- no more tight emo pants. (ok I have one pair) 6-less internet traffic and cellular phone traffic means faster and better service! I could go on and on but you get the idea. I know it’s mean to think like this, but if we had a little more space to roam around on, we wouldn’t be so uptight. Give up now people!
Human beings are considered the most intelligent animals on the planet, right? Wrong, that would be any animal smart enough not to intentionally place itself in harms way of another animal. We just love to put our heads in alligators mouths, ride big elephants, keep snakes for pets big enough to eat us, dive trips to swim with sharks, tame tigers and lions. Can you imagine some chicken saying to himself, “You know, I really want to live life to it’s fullest. I’m going to go play with that fox down the street!” See how tough I am! Type A all the way!!” God gave animals teeth for two reasons. One to eat, two to bite your dumb a** when you get too close. We can’t look at teeth and say “wooh they look sharp!” We go, “I wonder if I can get close enough to give him a dental exam. I think I saw a cavity.” If your gonna be dumb you gotta be tough. The Jacka** boys ripped off all the dummies around the world who have been risking their flesh for fun since the dawn of time. Who was the first caveman to entertain his buddies by placing his life in danger. ”Hey Ogg, hey Gluk, check this out!!” “Dare me to put a kick me sign on that T-rex ? “AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” That was stupid! His buddies learned a lesson, but the dumb gene got passed on. Thanks for all the years of laughter and the lessons you have taught us all, you dummies. We weren’t sure if those teeth hurt, but you put those questions to rest! Scientists can probably weed this gene out by now, but why?
Bob, tonight I was hanging out with Bob my uncle. I will try and distinguish which Bob I am referring to by just calling you Bob. Bob, when you were hanging out in the desert in Muammar Gaddafi’s personal tent helping him shape his foreign policy, were you thinking about Iowa State? Aww nuts, I got you two guys mixed up. Which one of you is the bballer? The bald guy? My uncle Bobs’ got a sweet skyhook for a guy that’s in his late 60’s. So there we were at the dinner table in a Mexican standoff, me and Bob. No, literally we were in a heated discussion about illegal immigration. Lets look at the debaters, shall we? Me, all American hunk with brains to boot. I like to think I can spar with the best of them when it comes to a political discussion. Him, harvard professor, sought after all over the world for his political ideas to shape the world. Probably one of the most intelligent human beings on the planet. Me, no college education. Him, he’s educating college. I think I had him on the ropes. I cornered him like a rat and steered him down Brian alley. Yeah, like that guys gonna win a debate with me on immigration. He had the nerve to say it is proven that an illegal commits less crime than a US citizen. I said the average US citizen doesn’t commit crimes, but an illegal is committing a crime every day he is here. Doh! If they broke our laws entering our country, and they know we don’t mind them breaking the law because we will open hiring centers for them and give them free education and healthcare, do you think they will have respect for US laws? I can hear the festive Mexican music again and see them dancing on our laws. “Arriba!! We spit on loitering as a law! We like to loiter!” Then he said they benefit the US, because they pay into social security and they are young, so they don’t take anything from it. This helps our society! I said thats exactly what Bismark the German Chancellor thought when he created social security. “How can I get people to pay me more money and expect to get a retirement fund when they retire, but not actually pay out a whole lot if any? Get me the German Surgeon General! (I didn’t have to put German in there, but it rhymed!) Yes, hello Dr. Von Helmut? What is the average age a German lives to? 65? Ok, thank you, goodbye! OK my beloved people! In order to guarantee your future, you need to pay me money and I will give you a nice little retirement check when you hit 65! I will take care of you my beloved! Here, come over here and chisel me on a rock! You love me!!!” So you see, I think I held my own. He didn’t count on the Briguy to be hanging with him, and dare I say beaten by lil ole me. Teach him to come down here with his silly titles and resumes and lifetime liberal achievement awards thinking he was gonna sell me on the Obama coolaid. Whats it taste like? Cristal! Go back to Harvard and tell them your stupid nephew who got his high school diploma from a diploma factory put a cork in your liberal bagpipes. Commie! Go Cyclones!
I officially didn’t blog yesterday. I said i wouldnt waiver nor falter, but i did. no blog on 2/17. youre mad arent ya. well i did blog from 1159 to 1253 2/16 into 2/17. that counts right? ok here we go. today i will enjoy the fine “sport” of nascar. the race of all races in my opinion. indys gay. i used to go in the early 80s when it was wild and untamed! those boys were over 215 mph before restrictor plates. they had to slow it down cause people were dying left and right. bodies were flinging into the stands, it was horrible. i personally had rusty wallaces leg land in my lap in 83 on the back straight. back then the stands were ghetto. like worse than your high school bleachers. just because we’re on the back straight and we cant see the start finish and we’re cheap doesnt mean we have to suffer the indignity of cheap seats. man! they used to allow you to get right up on the fence and you would get a view right into the cockpit at 200 mph. i high fived cale yarborough in 81. he was leading into lap 182 and the high five caused him to spin in turn 3. i caused him to lose in 81. ive never gotten over it. since then they stopped letting you stand on the fence. he was my man. my selection process of him being my man at age 11 was “i like him”. “he’s cool”. hardees fast food chain was on ole 28. my favorite hash brown. that was it for me. and then the crash. next year they had these big bad security guards guarding the fence. i was so skinny though, that they didnt see me. i dressed in silver and they thought i was a fence post. so all of these changes have cut down on the deaths. thats great, but i pay 200 dollars for the premo seats i want all 1000 horses baby not no training wheels! 190 mph woooohoooo! keeps the races close wooohooo! idiots, these guys are so close to each other now its like a football dogpile. drivers are fishhooking each other and poking each others eyes three stooges style. its silly. let them race! if you cant get your car to keep up with my car then tough. your team stinks and my team rocks. im in the winners circle and you arent. we want speed. formula one guys are going like 250. we’re so uptight. name one nascar driver that would be like “ughhh that sounds too scary for me, we could get hurt. can you put some little plate in my car to slow me down so i dont get a booboo? these guys are used to running moonshine and running from the law, do you think they care about restrictions? we pay good money to see speed, because higher speeds equals more spectacular crashes. thats what the people came to see. rubberneckers. we want blood and guts. i know all you drivers think we came to see you race around and win the race, but we want to see you get some air. well if you dont have a chance of winning then you should crash intentionally and get air for the crowd. cant they put airbags in those things? i know it adds weight, but cant the drivers just lose weight? its for your safety boys. lay off on all the free beer that junior hooks you up with and stay alive. if you had airbags you guys could crash even harder. you could set up stunt ramps off the track on the infield and if a driver was crashing, he could shoot for the ramps and launch, earning him extra nextel cup points. thats what im talking about. i know your ratings have been sagging boys, so let ole bri guy come to the rescue. i got fresh ideas for yall! how about cranes that would hang you out over the track in a harness super man style so you can get the closest action possible? you could clean the windshield of your favorite driver. just dont hi five em. how about a ride like at an amusement park where you get to race all the way around the track on the inside like the rabbit at a greyhound race. competing against the drivers on the track? video game style! you can shake your fist at drivers who get too close and give them the stare down, like “you want some of me? “i’ll school you ricky bobby style..shake and bake baby shake and bake! so, the balls in your court nascar. call my reps. i’ll be waiting. i know some are wondering, brian you’re such a good writer, why do you not capitalize your letters and get lazy with your writing? You are a professional now! I am so good, i dont need the spell check. i can freakin spell! I learned to spell from the readers digest while pooping at a young age. while i was pooping, i was passing all you non spellers up. thats one of the few good things my daddy taught me. “when you’re pooping, dont waste the time not learning. thats what separates the winners from the losers.” im way smarter than him now! so there. ok time to go to church.
I missed a whole day of blogging and I feel ok. No rose stories today. Ok so I feel bad I didn’t blog. I have an obligation to you all, and I will not falter nor waiver. Oh, I’m an idiot it’s only 1159. I knew I would make it in time! I hear some mexican festive music telling me I won a prize! Duhhdaahdaahhdaahhhdaahdaahhda ok thats enough of that. So what yall wanna talk about? politics hollywood i got connections I mean confidantes. I love this stuff. It scares me to see my mind on computer. Weeellllll laaddeee fricken da! we got ourselves a writer here! Hey dad I can’t see real good is that Bill Shakespeare over there? Ok I will discuss something thats been on my mind recently. In the 1980s I believe close to 1985 IBM was doing some groundbreaking research that was straight out of star trek. first they were playing with spelling IBM with atoms. neato boys! you dorks!!! Frickin nerdssss! i bet the next thing you spelled was dungeons and dragons to really push the envelope! That was real popular with those weirdos. I tried it, but it was lame. stupid odd shaped dice and mythical adventures! yay, i want to have a sword and fight weird creatures! Listen boy go out and get you some good ole made in the USA shooting iron and pop off some odd looking animals. stop playin. i was a skinny nerd but i didnt like hanging out with nerds. I had more personality and a sense of humor. i did hang out with this one nerd. I convinced him to have a snap popper fight in his house. you know the little twisty popper bangers. we battled it out all over the house flinging these things at each other and the walls. the walls looked like a bunch of black puffy clouds. but not the dreamy clouds that make you happy. his mom was pissed! she called my mom and told her what i did. I somehow escaped injury and lived to tell the greatest snap pop battle of all time. so this was the last nerd i hung out with. thats when the ladies started noticing me. Those chics wouldnt come near me with that dungeons and dragon freak. They thought my grasshopper legs were hot!! i bet i was in 6th grade and looked like amy winestein or whatever her name is. that skinny without the crack. 85 pounds and 1percent body fat. what the heck did i have, a tape worm? What, did my parents not feed me? I remember mac and cheese and hotdogs. that stuff makes you fat. i had big ears too! The kids on the bus would say, why ride the bus when you can fly!! and do some stupid ear flapping. Ohhh i wish i could see those guys now. hey you! yeah mr. 9th grade tough guy. remember me? the guy with the big ears? dumbo? ohhhhh yeah? what, you don’t remember me? Ohh, so you think i have big ears now? what! you dont know me? better back off dude. im still not over the first time. now you’re asking for it. then he ran like a girl. Ok so back to the IBM story. After they accomplished this, they proceeded to create the first teleportation with an atom. it was an advertisement for IBM in a news publication I believe maybe people or something. I clearly remember the pictures of this being accomplished. Now you see it now you dont now you see it…over there. cooooollll scotty beam me up. those guys were so smart. that was like 1960 something. those guys were doing it way before you guys. This was the last the public heard of this experiment. I kid you not. so by now they should be able to take our planet and make it appear somewhere else. I bet there are way cooler universes somewhere else! We could drop off a couple people over here and a couple over there. Maybe some ones like you see in the science fiction movies where the planets are all close and big with some cool rings and colors. Man look how close that planet is, I could just walk over! woww. Man these tides are strong! you know what im talking about? sorry nerds about making fun of you earlier. I had a bad day. I just realized Ive been blogging for 1 hour. cool thats a record. im so into the stats thing. im checking it all the time going yes i had 26 people get exposed to my insanity! they like me. so you see you 26 people and the 50 or 60 total that have been here, i can’t falter nor waiver. we will succeed!
I must throw out some props for proflowers.com. I ordered a dozen rose special with a box of chocolate and a vase for my wife for valentines day. I placed the order on the 12th because I like to plan ahead. I did it all online in 3 minutes and hit the deliver me some flowers button. On the 13th I ordered some chinese food and the driver called to tell me my address was wrong. I just moved into a new apartment, so I confirmed the address with the driver. It was at that moment that I realized I had given proflowers the wrong address and I also realized I am one gene away from a neanderthal. I freaked!!! I got online and the website said to bad so sad its too late! I panicked thinking I was going to have to knock on a strangers door to make sure they don’t think I’m stalking them and there are a dozen roses on the way. I called and spoke to a pleasant woman who was very understanding (at 7:15 pm no less) She told me she would send another dozen at no cost (don’t get any funny ideas you cheapskate romeos). I was blown away when she said they would be here on Valentines Day!! I said “what about the other dozen? She said “your neighbor will love you! Needless to say, I got a call from fedex and got both of them delivered to my home before 2:00 pm. 2 dozen roses honey!! This is how much I love you!! Thank you proflowers, you made me look like a rock star!
I have a confidante in the mexican govt. who tells me that Mexico is rapidly militarizing the southern border, bordering Guatemala. Why you ask? SPP! Simple. North American Union. The new border for us will now be Southern Mexico. Think I’m playing? GW just authorized billions to Mexico to beef up their military. He felt so confident that the money and the weapons would go into the right hands, because the govt. of Mexico is so honest! wink. The wheels for this march forward into a NAU was put into motion long ago. Of course our media is not breathing a word of this to the people here. The Super corridor highway that they are building here right under our nose (and calling us conspiracy nut jobs in the process!) was being built in Mexico awhile ago. Thats how confident that this was going to go forward. Incrementalism and media silence, along with a healthy dose of the federal govt. squashing any states that resist by threatening to withhold federal highway funding. Thats so nice of them! Our own govt. using communist tactics! And a republican no less! Goes to show that both sides are actively involved in wiping out our borders and culture. Next they are going to rewrite the song Proud To Be An American to Proud to Proud Be A North American. The Amero dollar has been designed already. Hope you like hockey and burritos!
You’re still there?
March 7, 2008 in Uncategorized | Tags: election, political commentary, political humor, Politics, republicans | 2 comments
I leave for one whole week and people are there waiting so patiently for me to barf up my silly brain. I feel like the pope when he sits in the pope castle and people are sitting down below waiting for just a glimpse of his greatness. Every once in awhile he pokes his head out, speaks in a strange language ranting about something or other and then disappears, leaving the people confused but deeply satisfied. I am doing my funny pope wave to you all!! Well I don’t want to disappoints my fans, so I better get to tickling the keyboard ivories. Lets talk about my favorite communist country better known as the state formerly known as California. The commies running cali are tripping over themselves to usher in the first REAL Red state. At least the other liberal commie states are subtle in their takeover and tactics. They are the silent but deadly fart in church-sort of subtle. California is like a big fat Michael Moore walking right up on stage during service and he yanks the mic out of your pastors hands and drops the kind of monster fart that scares small children. Not very subtle. What am I talking about? The list of communist/socialist propositions that have been passed or are trying to be passed in Cali are many, but I’ll just stick to the three that really bug me. First is the ban on using your fireplace in San Francisco to reduce the carbon emissions. Wutwutwhaaaaaaat? For those who haven’t been to San Francisco, I spent 2 years there in the Navy (cue Village People music) and I can tell you firsthand it can be chilly! Mark Twain said “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco” What are the poor people to do? I’m sure there are plenty of feather boas lying around! You can use the homeless to deliver them, since they outnumber the homers 2-1. They could use a good stroll to walk off that hangover anyways! I’m confused, if you can’t use your fireplace to keep warm, wouldn’t you have to turn on your heat in your home? That means electricity being used to heat your home rather than wood. I’m pretty sure there are some carbon emissions being produced somewhere to heat the home. Maybe they are being produced far away from their pristine views of the Pacific, thus who gives a crap! I’ll buy a carbon credit and Jesus will forgive me! How can they tell the difference between the thick fog that rolls in and the smoke of your fireplace? Let me guess, some city councilman was home painting his toenails enjoying Project Runway, when the sweet smell of hickory wood rolled through. Ruin my buzz off my toenail polish, huh? So this leads into the next commie legislation, which is a proposition for the state of California to have control over your thermostat in your own home. It’s all in the name of going green! Do they realize how many marriages are going to crumble over this? It’s bad enough husbands and wives fight over the thermostat, but now the commies want to control it for you? It might not be a bad thing, because if your wife doesn’t like the temperature the government sets it at, she can’t yell and blame you for it! Go get em honey! Hopefully all the menopausal women of Cali will unite and march on the states capital in protest! I’m hot, I’m hot and you’re about to get shot!!! People are leaving this state in droves. I can see the caravan on google earth! Wow look at all those priuses (what a word that was)! For the life of me, I can’t understand why there isn’t a mad dash by all the liberal democrats to move there. They’re too commie for the mainstream commies! The mainstream commies look at California and say, “tone it down, will ya? Obama’s not in office yet! Please secede from the U.S., will ya? The next proposition to be up for vote is one that is worse than the Michael Moore fart! The state is actually proposing to include communist indoctrination into the public schools curriculum! They want to teach all the little kiddies about your favorite commie heroes like, Fidel (I almost started WW3!)Castro, and Che(I killed 500 people and proud of it!) Guevara. They just love that image of him on their clothes and cars! He has that rugged macho look they wish they had. Hey, Ted Bundy was a hunk! This curriculum follows the lets teach 7 year olds how to have gay sex curriculum. They are such forward thinkers! Hello, majority, will you just stop being so old fashioned! Gosh, it’s for the kids! Commies are like modern day Robin Hoods, except they are the rich stealing from others to give to the poor. How smart. OK lets review what socialist/communist views are. They control what you read, what you think, what you learn, what the temperature in your home is, who made you, how many people are born, and what entertains you. Its the God complex. If you don’t believe in God and you are in office, the power becomes intoxicating I am sure. So, to feed this complex you desire nothing short of total control over all. Like, totally!!! Gag me with a spoon!! ABSOLUTE POWER!! (echo) If God doled out justice like we wished He would, my justice fantasy would be for a massive earthquake to smite California so hard it split away from the continent. Adrift in the Pacific, they could use their silly wind farms for propulsion! Thats green propulsion folks! Eventually it would drift over to Russia and attach itself to their coastline, just like the Pangaea we learned about in elementary school. We were we were all smushed together into one big happy island! Eventually Russia would tire of them and it would become their penal colony. Cartman says “sweeeeet”! I can’t believe I forgot how to count! Number 3 on the list of commie propositions is the new ban on homeschooling! Can you believe it? Up to 166,000 parents are at risk of prosecution for trying to teach their children at home. God forbid you want your child to have a better and safer education! Don’t want anyone thinking out of the box! Don’t want anyone learning anything other than what the state wants you to learn! It’s their history, there science, and you better like it. This same draconian legislation was passed in Germany where they quickly swooped in on poor parents and threatened prosecution. People had to flee or risk jail for the sake of their childs education! These laws are purely anti-Christian. It’s that simple. 80-90% of all homeschooled children are Christian children whose parents don’t want their poor child to have to suffer through public education. Between the garbage they teach you and the gangbangers and early promiscuity going on in public schools, what parent given the opportunity, wouldn’t want to homeschool. Parents who think public schools are good environments for their child to learn in are the ones who should be jailed for child endangerment and negligence. What did you learn today little Johnny? Ohhh how to put on a condom, dress like a muslim (it happened!) and deny God’s existence! Hope you got an A! God help the poor Californians who despise what is happening there. That list must be short!