I leave for one whole week and people are there waiting so patiently for me to barf up my silly brain. I feel like the pope when he sits in the pope castle and people are sitting down below waiting for just a glimpse of his greatness. Every once in awhile he pokes his head out, speaks in a strange language ranting about something or other and then disappears, leaving the people confused but deeply satisfied. I am doing my funny pope wave to you all!! Well I don’t want to disappoints my fans, so I better get to tickling the keyboard ivories. Lets talk about my favorite communist country better known as the state formerly known as California. The commies running cali are tripping over themselves to usher in the first REAL Red state. At least the other liberal commie states are subtle in their takeover and tactics. They are the silent but deadly fart in church-sort of subtle. California is like a big fat Michael Moore walking right up on stage during service and he yanks the mic out of your pastors hands and drops the kind of monster fart that scares small children. Not very subtle. What am I talking about? The list of communist/socialist propositions that have been passed or are trying to be passed in Cali are many, but I’ll just stick to the three that really bug me. First is the ban on using your fireplace in San Francisco to reduce the carbon emissions. Wutwutwhaaaaaaat? For those who haven’t been to San Francisco, I spent 2 years there in the Navy (cue Village People music) and I can tell you firsthand it can be chilly! Mark Twain said “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco” What are the poor people to do? I’m sure there are plenty of feather boas lying around! You can use the homeless to deliver them, since they outnumber the homers 2-1. They could use a good stroll to walk off that hangover anyways! I’m confused, if you can’t use your fireplace to keep warm, wouldn’t you have to turn on your heat in your home? That means electricity being used to heat your home rather than wood. I’m pretty sure there are some carbon emissions being produced somewhere to heat the home. Maybe they are being produced far away from their pristine views of the Pacific, thus who gives a crap! I’ll buy a carbon credit and Jesus will forgive me! How can they tell the difference between the thick fog that rolls in and the smoke of your fireplace? Let me guess, some city councilman was home painting his toenails enjoying Project Runway, when the sweet smell of hickory wood rolled through. Ruin my buzz off my toenail polish, huh? So this leads into the next commie legislation, which is a proposition for the state of California to have control over your thermostat in your own home. It’s all in the name of going green! Do they realize how many marriages are going to crumble over this? It’s bad enough husbands and wives fight over the thermostat, but now the commies want to control it for you? It might not be a bad thing, because if your wife doesn’t like the temperature the government sets it at, she can’t yell and blame you for it! Go get em honey! Hopefully all the menopausal women of Cali will unite and march on the states capital in protest! I’m hot, I’m hot and you’re about to get shot!!! People are leaving this state in droves. I can see the caravan on google earth! Wow look at all those priuses (what a word that was)! For the life of me, I can’t understand why there isn’t a mad dash by all the liberal democrats to move there. They’re too commie for the mainstream commies! The mainstream commies look at California and say, “tone it down, will ya? Obama’s not in office yet! Please secede from the U.S., will ya? The next proposition to be up for vote is one that is worse than the Michael Moore fart! The state is actually proposing to include communist indoctrination into the public schools curriculum! They want to teach all the little kiddies about your favorite commie heroes like, Fidel (I almost started WW3!)Castro, and Che(I killed 500 people and proud of it!) Guevara. They just love that image of him on their clothes and cars! He has that rugged macho look they wish they had. Hey, Ted Bundy was a hunk! This curriculum follows the lets teach 7 year olds how to have gay sex curriculum. They are such forward thinkers! Hello, majority, will you just stop being so old fashioned! Gosh, it’s for the kids! Commies are like modern day Robin Hoods, except they are the rich stealing from others to give to the poor. How smart. OK lets review what socialist/communist views are. They control what you read, what you think, what you learn, what the temperature in your home is, who made you, how many people are born, and what entertains you. Its the God complex. If you don’t believe in God and you are in office, the power becomes intoxicating I am sure. So, to feed this complex you desire nothing short of total control over all. Like, totally!!! Gag me with a spoon!! ABSOLUTE POWER!! (echo) If God doled out justice like we wished He would, my justice fantasy would be for a massive earthquake to smite California so hard it split away from the continent. Adrift in the Pacific, they could use their silly wind farms for propulsion! Thats green propulsion folks! Eventually it would drift over to Russia and attach itself to their coastline, just like the Pangaea we learned about in elementary school. We were we were all smushed together into one big happy island! Eventually Russia would tire of them and it would become their penal colony. Cartman says “sweeeeet”! I can’t believe I forgot how to count! Number 3 on the list of commie propositions is the new ban on homeschooling! Can you believe it? Up to 166,000 parents are at risk of prosecution for trying to teach their children at home. God forbid you want your child to have a better and safer education! Don’t want anyone thinking out of the box! Don’t want anyone learning anything other than what the state wants you to learn! It’s their history, there science, and you better like it. This same draconian legislation was passed in Germany where they quickly swooped in on poor parents and threatened prosecution. People had to flee or risk jail for the sake of their childs education! These laws are purely anti-Christian. It’s that simple. 80-90% of all homeschooled children are Christian children whose parents don’t want their poor child to have to suffer through public education. Between the garbage they teach you and the gangbangers and early promiscuity going on in public schools, what parent given the opportunity, wouldn’t want to homeschool. Parents who think public schools are good environments for their child to learn in are the ones who should be jailed for child endangerment and negligence. What did you learn today little Johnny? Ohhh how to put on a condom, dress like a muslim (it happened!) and deny God’s existence! Hope you got an A! God help the poor Californians who despise what is happening there. That list must be short!