I officially didn’t blog yesterday. I said i wouldnt waiver nor falter, but i did. no blog on 2/17. youre mad arent ya. well i did blog from 1159 to 1253 2/16 into 2/17. that counts right? ok here we go. today i will enjoy the fine “sport” of nascar. the race of all races in my opinion. indys gay. i used to go in the early 80s when it was wild and untamed! those boys were  over 215 mph before restrictor plates. they had to slow it down cause people were dying left and right. bodies were flinging into the stands, it was horrible. i personally had rusty wallaces leg land in my lap in 83 on the back straight. back then the stands were ghetto. like worse than your high school bleachers. just because we’re on the back straight and we cant see the start finish and we’re cheap doesnt mean we have to suffer the indignity of cheap seats. man! they used to allow you to get right up on the fence and you would get a view right into the cockpit at 200 mph. i high fived cale yarborough in 81. he was leading into lap 182 and the high five caused him to spin in turn 3. i caused him to lose in 81. ive never gotten over it. since then they stopped letting you stand on the fence.  he was my man. my selection process of him being my man at age 11 was “i like him”. “he’s cool”. hardees fast food chain was on ole 28. my favorite hash brown. that was it for me. and then the crash. next year they had these big bad security guards guarding the fence. i was so skinny though, that they didnt see me. i dressed in silver and they thought i was a fence post. so all of these changes have cut down on the deaths. thats great, but i pay 200 dollars for the premo seats i want all 1000 horses baby not no training wheels! 190 mph woooohoooo! keeps the races close wooohooo! idiots, these guys are so close to each other now its like a football dogpile. drivers are fishhooking each other and poking each others eyes three stooges style. its silly. let them race! if you cant get your car to keep up with my car then tough. your team stinks and my team rocks. im in the winners circle and you arent. we want speed. formula one guys are going like 250. we’re so uptight. name one nascar driver that would be like “ughhh that sounds too scary for me, we could get hurt. can you put some little plate in my car to slow me down so i dont get a booboo? these guys are used to running moonshine and running from the law, do you think they care about restrictions? we pay good money to see speed, because higher speeds equals more spectacular crashes. thats what the people came to see. rubberneckers. we want blood and guts. i know all you drivers think we came to see you race around and win the race, but we want to see you get some air. well if you dont have a chance of winning then you should crash intentionally and get air for the crowd. cant they put airbags in those things? i know it adds weight, but cant the drivers just lose weight? its for your safety boys. lay off on all the free beer that junior hooks you up with and stay alive. if you had airbags you guys could crash even harder. you could set up stunt ramps off the track on the infield and if a driver was crashing, he could shoot for the ramps and launch, earning him extra nextel cup points.  thats what im talking about. i know your ratings have been sagging boys, so let ole bri guy come to the rescue. i got fresh ideas for yall! how about cranes that would hang you out over the track in a harness super man style so you can get the closest action possible? you could clean the windshield of your favorite driver. just dont hi five em. how about a ride like at an amusement park where you get to race all the way around the track on the inside like the rabbit at a greyhound race. competing against the drivers on the track? video game style! you can shake your fist at drivers who get too close and give them the stare down, like “you want some of me? “i’ll school you ricky bobby style..shake and bake baby shake and bake! so, the balls in your court nascar. call my reps. i’ll be waiting. i know some are wondering, brian you’re such a good writer, why do you not capitalize your letters and get lazy with your writing? You are a professional now! I am so good, i dont need the spell check. i can freakin spell! I learned to spell from the readers digest while pooping at a young age. while i was pooping, i was passing all you non spellers up. thats one of the few good things my daddy taught me. “when you’re pooping, dont waste the time not learning. thats what separates the winners from the losers.” im way smarter than him now! so there. ok time to go to church.